When we talk about how pre-mediation coaching can help with the writing of a parenting plan, it’s critical to focus on good communication, learning what each parent’s concerns are, and attempting to understand that the plan is for what is in the best interest of the children.
When couples separate or divorce with children, they never anticipate the challenges they will face when they try to create a parenting plan in two homes.
When they are living in one home, there is a way that they make decisions (whether they agree or not) concerning their children’s lives.
Once a divorce is imminent, there can be a lot of resistance to creating a cooperative plan and it could be based on other factors that have nothing to do with the children.
Starting with communication, pre-mediation can help parents learn new ways to discuss issues related to their children.
Oftentimes, good communication is an issue for a couple and those dysfunctional patterns will inevitably show up when they are no longer in an intimate, romantic relationship.
Parents will need to learn skills on how to shift their communication focusing on the children only and taking the emotional issues out of the discussions.
Pre-mediation work provides guidance on active listening, expressing thoughts clearly, and using “I” statements to avoid blame.
Techniques to practice remaining calm and composed during discussions are helpful for the creation of the plan and beyond.
Emotions are always at play when discussing the best interest of the children as every parent loves and wants what is best for their child.
When emotional issues and other priorities such as financial concerns take over, it makes it difficult to focus on the children.
Another important skill pre-mediation coaching can help with is having flexible thinking. As much as a parent would like to have their children all the time, the ability to accept that they will now be co-parenting is crucial.
There are many ways to be flexible when creating a co-parenting plan and having the ability to talk about this in a calm and creative way is a game-changer. The co-parenting specialist will teach parents these skills.
It is helpful to address potential sources of conflict in advance and explore some preventative measures that can minimize future disagreements that are likely to occur.
Additionally, it can be helpful to discuss ways to review and adjust the plan as children grow and circumstances change.
In many cases, there is a built-in mechanism for resolving disputes in the parenting plan. This may involve mandatory mediation or arbitration to address disagreements before they escalate.
Experts know that developing a detailed parenting plan leaves little room for ambiguity. Clearly outlining parenting time, decision-making responsibilities, and communication protocols is necessary, particularly in the beginning stages of co-parenting.
With many layers to all of the issues and emotions that are involved in separation or divorce, professionals agree that having a Co-Parenting Specialist available to help families navigate this unknown territory, can help parents focus on what is in the best interest of their children.
Remembering that pre-mediation coaching is not about taking sides, but facilitating a positive and productive dialogue between parents.
Encouraging a cooperative and child-centered approach is key to reaching successful parenting agreements through mediation. The emphasis is on the importance of trust in the co-parenting relationship. Addressing these trust issues prior to mediation will help to rebuild and strengthen the trust between the parents.
If you would like to learn more about how a Certified Co-Parenting can help you and your family, please reach out for a complimentary call. Having a good parenting plan will save you and your children from having to deal with conflict that may be unnecessary and costly both emotionally and financially.