By Karen Dorsey, M.Ed., CDC®, Certified Co-Parenting Specialist
Co-parenting after the end of your relationship or divorce can be difficult even under the best of circumstances.
This is not how most parents planned on raising their children – in two homes!
Before you even separate or start the divorce process, co-parenting coaching can help you determine how you want your life and family to look going forward.
Here are a few ways co-parenting coaching can help before your divorce:
- Explore what needs to change and what can stay the same by getting clear on what is best for your child/children
- How and when should you tell the children and what are normal reactions based on age and developmental stages
- Help with experimenting what time sharing might work best even before you separate or start creating a parenting plan
- Best self-care practices during this traumatic time. You will be focused on putting the children at the center, not in the middle of this. Yet it’s critical to remember that the better your feel about yourself, the better off your kids will be in the long run. The best thing you can do for your children is to take care of yourself. That way, you’ll have the reserves to be present for them when they need you most.
During the separation and divorce process, you will need to create a Parenting Plan.
This can be an incredibly stressful time. When parents are dealing with so many other critical issues including finances, budgeting, where they will be living and the worries and fears about the future, developing a parenting plan can feel overwhelming.
A co-parenting coach can work with you and your co-parent to facilitate productive and effective conversations that will serve the needs of your family and your lifestyle.
Having the experience of working with someone who has created parenting plans gives you the opportunity to learn about what others have tried and what options might be best for your circumstances and your family’s needs.
After you are living in two homes, you may encounter situations where you and your co-parent simply do not agree on how to handle a particular situation.
Things will be changing, and oftentimes unforeseen issues come up.
First and foremost, I suggest parents be flexible – everything is not a crisis, and many things can be worked out if you keep in mind what is in the best interest of your kids.
However, you may be dealing with a high conflict or uncooperative co-parent who is stuck in the past, angry, bitter, resentful, blaming, and refuses to take responsibility.
These situations are often well handled with the help of a coach who can work with you individually or if possible, with your co-parent.
You will learn techniques and strategies that will help you and your co-parent communicate more effectively, problem solve and create solutions so that when future issues come up (and they will!) you will be much better equipped to work things through on your own.
Having a coach to support you and give you guidance and courage to understand what you have control over is invaluable.
A co-parenting coach will help you set boundaries, work through the emotions of divorce, and strategize on how to create less conflict in this less-than-ideal co-parenting relationship.
Consider this – what do you want your children to say about how you showed us through your divorce and as a parent?
Allow me to provide the resources and guidance so that your kids feel loved, secure, and supported during this difficult transition.
You don’t need to do this alone.
Schedule your complimentary call today and let’s talk!